The three-time Grammy award winning artist came out today at a hastily convened press conference at his studio in the Hollywood Hills.
“Yo I ain't like those faggots, you know what I ‘m saying. 
I ain’t gonna start wearing pink tutus or anything, I just got much love for my homeboy Ryan, know what I'm saying?” he asked reporters.
Dr Lasz B. Yen, a sociologist and gender studies Professor at the Dyke University in Amsterdam, said that this disclosure hardly surprised her.
“It’s not uncommon for gay men to express violent homophobic behaviour in an attempt to mask their inherent faggotry.”
“One of my patients murdered 14 gay men before he realized that he was himself, a homosexual. Now he’s an extremely successful hair dresser.”
Eminem will go down in history as the first white, gay rapper.
In 1992 there was some controversy when ‘rapper’ Vanilla Ice was briefly considered to be the first gay, white rapper.
However, FBI investigations later uncovered that he was “not homosexual per se, just a complete fag.”
Eminem has announced plans to spend a “fabulous weekend” at fellow singer Elton John’s residence.
"Now I'll find out if I melt in your hand or in your mouth," he joked disgustingly.
He also made public his long-time secret engagement to well known entertainer and flaming homosexual, Ryan Seacrest.
In related news, Dr Dre and the entire D-12 entourage have killed themselves.
- New Yorker
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