Scientists to Pluto: "Fuck-Off!"

It's finally happened. After years of bitter feuding, scientists have finally agreed that Pluto is no longer a planet. Instead, it has been cast aside and given the paltry classification of "ball of gas". Ouch!

In all fairness, Pluto was always a bit of a dodgy planet. When is the last time anyone even saw Pluto. At least Mars is close by and Venus is all seductive. Saturn has style-sense what with its shiny rings. Uranus is worth keeping for its name alone. Mercury is, well, silverish sounding. Neptune was always a decent planet. Jupiter is a huge motherfucker. What's Pluto ever done for us apart from being annoyingly far away. Look at that picture. Just look at it. What the fuck is that? Does that look like a planet to you? It could be a picture of a hemorrhoid for all you know? Call that a planet!

Does it really expect to be part of the party even though it's so antisocial. What's so great about it anyway. Oh it's cold. Alright, I have a refrigerator too. Ice cubes never scared me. I say it's high time we give the finger to that puff of fart we used to call a planet. It's about time we reject it for the puny little slut planet that it is (You know the joke about Pluto: It's the village spaceshuttle - Everyone's had a ride). Let's unite in hatred of Pluto. In fact, let's burn any and all books that mention that word. We can start with the ancient Roman and Greek texts which mention Pluto numerous times. Yes they were referring to a god, but we need to be firm and smoke these villains out of their caves. We need to erase all history concerning Pluto and forget it ever happened. If we forgot Rwanda, we can sure as hell forget Pluto.